Winding Down at 3

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You’re really a cute kid, Baby Rangirl. Really. Just…just lovely. 

Hourly visits to our bedside during the night isn’t creepy at all. Nor is it the leading cause for sleep deprivation in 2-out-4 adults in our household. You’re swell. 

And the constant interruptions during mommy and daddy’s conversations via knock-knock jokes? Especially ones you cutely botch at the punchline? Not a nuisance at all. 

But…just for poops-and-giggles: how about we have a look at this chart which sums up our current living situation, shall we? A mere look into where you stand at the age of 3:

Let’s see what 4 years of age brings in a couple of months. 

Now, some pictorial updates. 

Here’s you helping mommy blow out her own birthday cake…because you know. You’re the center of it all. As per Mommy Ranman, she’s still 29. Around the age when you can date, coincidentally. Note: the booze was not for you.  
And here you are, trying to eat your bro.  

And then there’s the time your baby bro protested that we weren’t feeding him enough:

Finally, the early stages of what now must be your dungeon—I mean my old mancave. Hope to have it toy-free as long as possible! 

Halloween Wrap Up

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I certainly feel our daughter’s one work day of the year is starting to pay off. Halloween candy is an accepted form of pay in the Ranman household. However, your stock goes down when you latch onto some imitation Batman:

Granted, it’s cute walking Baby Rangirl and her bestie on the block from door to door…but Batman’s need to ring all 20 door bells despite being some not being decorated for Halloween – just…argh! 

Points deducted for Baby Rangirl not putting her princess feet down and noticing her father being over the holiday. She naturally chose to ring as many bells as Batman. 

And poor little Baby Ranboy. Homie was bored out of his mane. Or cub head. Sorry, I have no clue what he was dressed as- lion? Bear? Sleeping sack of cute?

Needless to say, 1 week later and we’re still swimming in candy- and in a few weeks: debt. That’s one pool Baby Rangirl has learned to float in: right after Halloween we received the ToysRus big book of toys. With a $200 princess castle. Which is the only thing she wants. She circled the toy with engineer-like precision. But ask her to write down the letter “A” and she’s as coordinated as a snail trying to write for the first time. 

When did Halloween become so unfun? If you’re reading this blog post in the future Baby Rangirl (or Teenage Rangirl?), you better be able to locate and play with that castle on demand. I don’t care if you’re too old. Who cares what the mean girls at school will say? I want your Barbies conducting a $200-worth tea party with Ken playing some of my favorite tunes in the common area of the castle. 

Pains in my butt. 


Using the Roomy Bed

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So, there’s something here not like the other…


Oh, can’t tell? Well it’s Baby Rangirl in a sea of her toys at nighttime.

Maybe if we zoom in, we can see her better?

Yea, this kid has the sleep pattern of a fly. 
I’m just glad Baby Rangirl is enjoying the IKEA bed…who knew I could put something together in a safe manner?

The Balancing Act

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We’re still in the process of adjusting to 2 kids. Baby Rangirl- my hope is that we didn’t mess you up in the head due to either complete negligence or over-compensation in the attention department. As you read this blog in the future from some jail cell awaiting the jury’s verdict for attempted murder on my life, remember one thing: we tried. 

For example, embarrassing you as payback for disturbing my sleep is actually a healthy sign of love and great parenting. It’s all the rage back here in 2015…snapping pics of you in your most vulnerable state only means I want the best for my Baby Rangirl.


In trying to balance 2 kids who equally need our attention, we even made conscious efforts to spend full days with you whilst your grandmother watched Baby Ranboy. Consider that before trying to push us down the stairs in our old age. 


Did you end up snapping because I forced you into doing chores before reaching four years on this green earth? Well in order to keep the earth green, daddy’s lawn needs manicuring. 


You can’t honestly be mad for Mommy Ranman and I taking hours-off-at-a-time to do date nights without you and your brother…we need a break too.  

It’s hard trying to predict exactly why you hate us in the future. My official guess is because we grounded you from dating boys through your teenage years. Knowing the dudes I did growing up- boys suck in general. So go do your homework. And ignore the double standards when I let your baby bro talk to the ladies as young as 9 years of age. 

Stats so far

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Whilst Baby Rangirl continues to amaze at the random crap she retains, Baby Ranboy continues to fill in the memories of what it’s like to get used to a new baby:

Mommy Ranman IM’d me-
“We have:

11.8 lbs

23.5 inches

75th percentile for height;

90th for weight

60th for head”

 Daddy Ranman: any of that too much according to the doctor? 

Mommy Ranman: Nope, the doc said Baby Ranboy is perfect

Daddy Ranman: and that’s a good weight, too?

Mommy Ranman: She said it’s fine. Keep feeding him on demand

Daddy Ranman: cool. and what of hisā€¦member? is that in the 90th percentile?

I didn’t hear from the Mrs. again on that IM thread. Let’s hope you’re equipped to handle the world, little dude. Gotham needs you. 

When the Bass Drops

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Mommy Ranman: The site says if Baby Ranboy’s testicles don’t drop in 6 months, we’ll need to have that taken care of

Me: well I’ll be

Mommy Ranman: so when you change his diapers again, I’ll need you to check if they’ve dropped

Me: how can I tell? Is it like when the beat/bass drops in a song?

Mommy Ranman: ugh no. Feel for 2…

Me: but he’s all testicles…I can’t tell unless I’m grabbing both mine and his at the same time for comparison…and that my friend, is plain odd

Mommy Ranman: but you have–you’re–ugh, just- you’re helpless

Me: I ain’t helpful

Party on when the bass drops, little dude.  

A Daddy’s Rant Is Never Done

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Am I the only dad whose foot always finds the 1 toy or end of the kid furniture each time? From Baby Rangirl’s stray Lego to Baby Ranboy’s bassinet cramping my bedroom- each item seems to increase in pointy texture and discoverability once my toe comes within striking distance. 

I see it now – Baby Ranboy’s challenge. “Mess with me and I’ll make your life rough…when I figure I’ve been messed with.” 

(Note Baby Rangirl’s toy on the floor in the background waiting for my right foot to get home.) 

On top of that, I’m changing my own clothes as often as this little guy- it seems like I get the same amount of spit on me as he does on himself. Who’s the baby in this relationship?

Gangster by nature. 


What else is working against you, Daddy Ranman
 you ask? Timing. I have no problem with a baby crying every 3 hours for a bottle and diaper change. 

He barely sleeps for long stretches. 

The second kid is waking up every 2 hours herself.

If I were to do the math we’re getting…35 minutes of sleep? 2 seconds? Okay I’m the one Indian that sucks at math but I do know sleep escapes us by a lot of hours. 

And why does he get to sleep on his own time?

2 kids aren’t so bad, we expected this of course. But Baby Rangirl- you know what you do. You be playing on this “first child syndrome” where you steal each parent’s chunk of time in order to get ice cream. 

You kids will kill me sooner than my next  drink. 

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