A coworker is back from her maternity leave so naturally I am more attentive to stories of her first crack at parenting. One of her new jobs is to now pump breast milk out of sheer necessity. Apparently the pumping doesn’t stop even after you’ve decided to switch from maternity leave’s breast milk to I’m-going-back-to-work powdered formula. I also learned that the excess in milk that she is bottling will be donated to a hospital or center for those that need it.

The coworker disappears a few times during the day, my assumption was that she is squaring things away with HR. When she came back to her desk one time I saw a plastic bag with what seemed to be a square box in it.

“So uh, what’s in the bag?” I asked, “is it cake for the office??”

“It’s milk.”

I hope my face didn’t look too disgusted. I know there is nothing gross about a woman’s lactating phase, but there’s something wrong about expecting cake for the entire office and ending up with what I guess could be extra milk for everyone.

She went on to explain the taste and all of it when someone else asked a question about milk where at that point we all agreed to be completely satisfied with our current knowledge of breast milk and google any remaining questions going forward. I have so much more to learn and no guts to learn it!