With great baby comes great responsibilities. And with tighter dead-beat-dad laws in New York I am left to suffer from said responsibilities. I don’t mind coming to the hospital for you, future offspring. I’m gonna try to be a father that’s there for you as much as the football seasons will allow me. But does every other dude have to be the same way?

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There is a full house at this forsaken hospital with couples waiting in the antepartum testing unit for baby scans. It’s as though this daggone place doesn’t respect peoples time and over books appointments…and now I guess every woman makes sure the father attends these scans. What does that leave your father with baby girl?

Correct. No seat. Mommy gets to sit with the other pregnant ladies in the waiting room…though with the TV set to Rachel Ray I think I’m safer out here in the hallway with the 8 other fathers/boyfriends/secret lovers.

And tensions run high when the hallway starts to crowd.

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Breathe Ranman. Breathe.

So this will be (barring any issues) the last time we get to see you via sonogram until you plop from the womb. Week 30 you ol’ bag! How does it feel to be 30 and fabulous like mommy and daddy?

Well then, down to what we’re here for shall we?

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Current stats have you at 3lbs 12oz, healthy according to the doctor. You wouldn’t cooperate to allow us a 3D view of your face due to a limb obstructing the doc’s view; but from what we saw mommy swears she saw a cute button nose. Which is good because you don’t want what daddy’s packing on his face. And the doc didn’t see any obvious boy parts- which is a good sign of your chicktitude.

And luckily we don’t have to visit that baby scan area again because you didn’t give us a reason to. Thank you!!

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