I know Future daughter, you’re getting annoyed these days in the womb with all the tearing up of papers. Everyday daddy is ripping up “snail mail” like crazy since he can’t use the shredder for these credit card companies since they send junk mail in book form these days. I can barely rip up the bulletproof envelopes these things come in so I don’t even bother wasting my time using the shredder. Christmas is the worst time of the year for junk mail.

Then there’s those magazines that I thankfully don’t have to ask your mother about tossing or not these days because there’s no way she wants anything from the 22 Victoria Secret catalogs we’re getting per day. Apparently there’s no maternity lingerie which is okay for the junk mail tosser in me. But yet, snail mail isn’t the worst thing. You’ll find shortly?(…by what, after you learn to crawl?) that spam email is as annoying as snail mail-ripping.

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It’s probably easier to identify junk mail when it’s physical. But spam mail- sometimes that important email will end up in your junk box unintentionally or worse- buried in the spam mail that didn’t get filtered. Enjoy your email while you can my future Internet junky. Once you sign up for your first online newsletter or to receive deals that you will want to relay to mommy so that she can buy you your Sephora makeup it’ll open up the floodgates to spam mania!

To be clear, you are going to mommy for all your girly needs. Yes, we prefer to shop online where daddy wouldn’t get hassled by crowds and physically shopping for nail polish in a store with his head hung low in manly shame, but I still have to worry about the Forever 21 girly emails that would get sent to my email address which I spent so long trying to build into a no-woman/spam address. So yea, shop with confidence when you shop through your mother.

Look at all that junk mail from just this past Tuesday!!

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