If my wife decides to officially have a third child, a notion I do not support because I will expect to be the third child of this house, I will protest using this method, also pictured below. For $68, she can threaten to stay off of birth control all she wants. A $68 name brand condom almost guarantees no child and the most fashionable love making available. My woman can’t deny me because this condom will make her feel like we’re making it on the red carpet with the gear to match her new purse which I purchased to sub for a third child.

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