Ranman: yo woman, where are you? Where is your “brb”?
Ranman: everything okay?
Ranman: ugh work is so lame. Can you give birth already? You’re home, it’ll be comfy
Ranman: I bet if you give birth right now I might be able to leave work early

Mrs. Ranman: lol MAYBE leave work early???

Okay baby girl. I know you still have an estimated week left to serve your time in that belly of your mother’s, but maybe you can get off early for good behavior? This way, people can stop asking me how your mother is feeling. I know it’s selfish of me to want you here a week early, but your mother has a cold and is lying on the couch without me. All because you won’t come to us yet and your mother can’t take any meds for that cold. And I can’t sleep without her in bed!

Week 39 approaches us tomorrow and you’re showing little-to-no signs of showing yet! We may have to naturally induce, and mommy’s taste buds are gonna burn for it. Spicy food is one option we’ll use from dark grandma’s arsenal of spicy Indian dishes. Only you can save your mother from the heat explosion being unleashed upon her tongue…

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