Look at her just sitting there. Staring back at me with those zero-to-huge-eyes-in-2-seconds. In her swing anticipating my next move. The house is silent. It is day 3 of being home for the week with my daughter.

She isn’t showing any signs of sleep nor angst. It is just…sitting there. Is it supposed to do this? Did I break the kid? How did her mother do this for 3 months and still enjoy her company? This is unnerving. Oh wait- is that sleep I see?


Ah sweet bliss I have 40 minutes before she needs visual stimulation again. What do I do with the time? Mommy Ranman promised I would have the same opportunities as her to choose between sleeping, eating, or getting chores done with these all too rare naps.

Like a well-oiled machine I can figure what to do every 4-5 hours when it is feeding time and pampers (aka “pampies” after running out of topics for discussion with her- I had to start getting creative with the English language) changing time. I can even jiggle a rattle or noisy toy in front of her to pass about 15 minutes.

But reader(s), there are more than 15 minutes to a day. Trust me, I did the math many times during these awkward silences. As much of a machine she is with the predictable bodily functions and needs…my daughter needs something to fill in the downtime (which apparently consists of a lot of time in order to be considered “down”). The 40 minute naps only happen maybe 3 times all day which isn’t consecutive enough.

I can read the sports websites to her. But as a person who just isn’t into reading anymore I prefer the television tell me the stories from yesterday. And according to the world wide webs our daughter shouldn’t be watching television. I’ve been playing the radio all day (Sirius radio, not the lame local New York stations with annoying broadcasters with the worst topics of conversation ever)- but that’s just for background noise.

There’s also playtime in her activity centers…I even beefed it up with more toys and a premium mirror to look more like an office of fun rather than a lame mat to coo on.


Plus, the regular radio doesn’t play the good stuff- see Sirius in action on our car radio:


Mad Men viewers would appreciate that one.

Crap, did I digress again? Surely I did. It’s too quiet at home when your only company is a dumb cat and a baby. Spoke too soon. We got a crying baby. Code red!