This first Father’s Day for your boy Daddy Ranman proved to be epic. Bany Rangirl, if there’s one thing I learned it’s that our home isn’t quite baby-proof yet:

Exhibit A:

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There lies in our backyard the remains of the Jagermeister shot my father was pouring for guests. What could possibly happen? A dude in a fat suit plowed him, of course. That makes all the sense in the world. Oh, I forgot to mention. We were sumo wrestling in our backyard with a bunch of guests for Father’s Day courtesy of Main Event:

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So yea- not a smart backyard game when you’re inviting kids to mingle with adults like the fat-suited giant that plowed into my father who ended up head-first into our plastic fence. The jäger he was pouring ended up all over the face of the dude that plowed him into the fence while as you see- the shot glass remained broken into tears of angst all over the green faced earth known better as my lawn.

Exhibit B as to why we still haven’t received our certification for Baby-Friendly environment:

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We let our daughter referee. Sure, she’s comfy in her Bumbo seat (click on seat for further example of our awesome parenting) within her playpen, but who knows what happens when she doesn’t defend herself against a awkwardly tumbling adult hurling in her direction.

Exhibit C:

No pics. Just the note of 2 people that caught on fire. They were in the vicinity of trays which were being kept warm by flamed candles and well…poof! Lit Indian people that were highly flammable to begin with due to their high curry content.

Exhibit D: many veteran parents who felt it right to tell us what’s a better parenting practice than anything we’ve done to date.

Exhibit E: our winning trophies looked way too jagged for a baby.

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And of course, we put our baby to stare at the field of play to visualize before the sumo began. Perhaps she would have benefitted more from a nap than to stare out the window for as long as did.

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