1)…knee. Now it would look like Baby Rangirl’s head was kneed by me, but quite the contrary Mr. Social Services. Baby Rangirl threw her head whimsically at my knee expecting full pillow. We gotta work on coordination, okay child protection people? Put those handcuffs away.

2)…floor. Oh I see you social workers salivating at the mouth. Well no need for me to say “at the mouth” in that last sentence, aye? Where else does one salivate? At the fibula? No, that’s just silly. Baby Rangirl was doing her normal 6 month old baby stuff like sitting up and playing with her toys. But sleep settled in and she doesn’t know how to do the train-doze just yet (where you nod off on the train while keeping just enough balance to not crashing your head on the shoulder of the passenger seated beside you). Wha ensues? Floor meets head. I was watching her, I swear. Just didn’t anticipate her to fall sideways like that.

3)…head. My head. Mommy Ranman’s head. Doesn’t matter. You have a (good or bad) head on your shoulders then it’s going to find baby skull. And it hurts you more than it hurts her. Watch out for the lips also- Mommy Ranman received a fat one the other day.

4) …floor. Again. Sigh. For the second time in one weekend Baby Rangirl landed on her face while on my watch. This time she actually cried. I’m gonna chalk that fall to the wind or something. As she learns to sit up on her own, any slightly suggestive force placed on her has the entire body moving in the same direction. Which is troubling considering the cat’s tail is always whipping the kid in the face.

5) …I think I’ll stop here. Too many signs of bad parenting can really suggest that I suck at this…parenting thing. Look at that head. Lots of circumference going on.