There’s been talks of providing you with a sibling, Baby Rangirl. The negotiations are still ongoing- mommy and I will probably butt heads when she reads the recent provision I made to the contract. Based on the Yankees’ recent heroics provided by Raul Ibañez, I want any second child that has been proven mine by such experts as Maury Povich of ours to inherit the middle name Raul despite neither of us being the least bit Hispanic. Baby Ibañez Rankid#2. Rolls off the tongue.

Let’s say we do come to an agreement which allows you a sibling. There’s still the um, the physicality with which your baby sibling must arrive. Until then, we’re going to have to stifle any requests made to the stork. However, the kind folk who deliver our groceries at Stop n’ Shop are trying to unblock our baby blocking. They are trying to play stork whisperer themselves as they sent our stork-blockers in an impregnable case:


Well. I’m gonna have to break in case of an emergency.