Who knew parenting would add 20 pounds to you which one doesn’t train to move around with. Those 20 pounds are all literal baby fat of course. Our eight month old kid doesn’t walk so I need to carry her everywhere in the house should I decide to do more than just toy around on the iPhone whilst she rips up paper on the floor.

I see how people’s backs go out before the age of 50. My right arm is ripped from carrying Baby Rangirl around just to keep her out of harms way. All I want to do is barricade her in a room full of pillows while I take out the trash. It’s as though I’m learning to walk all over again.

Or, instead of pillows it’d be great to just leave her in the corner by a couch as she entertains herself with the wood floors. This kid is amused by the patterns with random holes she finds for minutes at a time. All the toys on the floor, and this is what distracts her.