Who’s your daddy? Well actually, Baby Rangirl only you will answer that. Everyone else: don’t be creepy. Ever since Arnold Schwarzenegger portrayed the real life hell of man vs. America when it comes to last minute holiday shopping for your kid in Jingle All the Way, way before Arnold was known for making love to horrid maids, I have learned what it takes to be a good dad.

Behold, your first Christmas gift ever, purchased over a month in advance:


I post this for multiple reasons:

-Relatives and friends be warned: you will not out-parent us. I know how all of these people wanna be the cool associate of Baby Rangirl. Well, consider yourself gift-blocked as we ensure our baby gets the hottest toys only from us. If she receives duplicates, well please be sure to include gift receipts.

-Well that was the only reason. I’ve been taught to never bullet statements unless you have at least three things to bullet.

-3rd point.

-Oh, also, I wanted to show Baby Rangirl how she got one of the hot toys this Christmas before ignoring it in favor of the box it came in.