With my birthday coming up in a few weeks, I envision what my conversations will be like. Except the same responses when we start interacting, Baby Rangirl:

-Hey Daddy Ranman…how old are you?

-Age range 25-34.

-Um…sure, but specifically how old?

-Old enough for marketable material pertinent to my demographic.

-Wow…that old huh?

-Please adjust your tone and messaging more suitable for my audience’s age range.

-And what tone would that—

-Gun for the 25 year-old. So I’m a hipster who acts like what a 34 year-old would consider “Emo”.

…I can say with certainty that I’m too old to be cleaning after storms like this: