Remember when things like completing a report for school before its deadline or finally getting your car oil changed would be a badge of honor? May-haps a feeling of accomplishment in an otherwise unaccomplished world? Oh glory days, where have you gone? Where’s the emoji for “crap I have a kid”? 😢😢😢

Today it was up to me to feed cats which I had no say in getting (even though the second cat was post-marriage / post-fiancé-baggage, it was the result of the first cat’s depression. A recession cat, if you will), get Baby Rangirl ready, and take out the trash all before 7:15AM.

Getting Baby Rangirl outta bed is no easy task. She does not wake easily when you’re performing an awakening. I do some loud TV-blasting, stomping of my already-heavy feet, horrible singing…which all leads to negotiation when she finally does gather her bearings.

“I want to wear a princess dress. I want to wear a Batman shirt. I want to take my Lego toy to school. I want to watch the Lego movie. Other impossible things to do over the next 20 minutes.”

When I finally get her dressed? “5 more minutes, go away!”

The kid has no concept of time, so 5 minutes = the full length of a Nickelodeon show. Or 22 minutes. Steve can’t figure out Blue’s Clues quick enough. I’d solve it in the first guess, but noooo. We need 22 minutes which I can’t spare.

So to get all this done by 7:15AM? I did it. I was relieved. I win Thursday.

Rise and shine, yah sleepy head!!