It’s rough for a dad watching the struggles of breast feeding; you sit back with nothing to help alleviate the discomfort and on-demand supply. But that’s not why I’m jealous. Bond all you want with the kid-

But man do I wish I had functional boobs.

Baby Ranboy, like most boys who have yet to see a woman turn around,  is a boob man. He falls asleep in an instant on Mommy Ranman’s newly-filled bosoms but complains to no end when he lays on mine. And functionality? 

Mommy Ranman is dropping weight like crazy delivering the milk- all without doing a single sit-up or lap around the block. I’d love to sit back and watch the body get tight. 
Without a boob to stand on, I gotta work doubly hard to ward off the dad bod. 

It’s been only one time so far where this sucker finally gave up the mommy dependency and passed out on my boney ribs. Here’s the week in review:


Let’s also continue the rant on how this dude is still peeing all over the place. He actually shot from BOTH ends at simultaneously when I was changing a diaper. Don’t trust the calm before the storm.   

Meanwhile, Baby Rangirl is off making friends at the park and bringing home all sorts of sickness, currently on cold #8 of the year…

    Baby Ranboy is sneezing enough to get a rectal temperature check (sorry buddy) while Baby Rangirl is throwing up enough to get a machine attached to her at the doctor-


You kids are as much work as you are awesome with your colds and flying poop.